Hey; do you remember yo-yos?

If you do, you are moving down the yellow brick ever so slightly towards Old Codgerdom; right alongside of me!

Man, I wish I had invented the yo-yo! It was a device of weird entertainment that was especially designed to keep one’s mind from all sorts of important stuff and things. It became a cottage industry and its participants invented all sorts of unusual combobulations: the swing, the slide, the sloop and the swoop.

I am going to take you back in time yet again into the inner workings of Fred Marvin and Josephine Celeste’s domicile.

To steal Fred Foy’s introduction to “The Lone Ranger” television show (starring Clayton Moore and Jay Silverheels): “Hi-Yo, Silver! A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust and a hearty ‘Hi-Yo Silver’... The Lone Ranger! With his faithful Indian companion, Tonto, the daring and resourceful masked rider of the plains led the fight for law and order in the early Western United States. Nowhere in the pages of history can one find a greater champion of justice. Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear. From out of the past come the thundering hoof-beats of the great horse Silver. The Lone Ranger rides again!”

Ah yes, those thrilling days of yesteryear – days of dodos and yo-yos and other meaningless gadgets.

But, Freddy (The Big Ugly) turned the yo-yo into a medical device that rivaled the most advanced piece of gear known at that time!

Seems, Fred Marvin and Josephine Celeste determined that it was time for Freddy (The Big Ugly) and Bobby (The Music Man) and little ole me to march down to the health department and get our shots. I guess they were the “back to school” variety of shots; or some other title. Fred Marvin and Josephine Celeste could come up with lots of tricky little titles to get us to actually WANT to get the shots.

We all deal with pain in our own way; but Freddy dealt with the soreness by – you got it – using his new found medical device formerly called the “yo yo”. Seems that up and down arm motion was just “what the doctor ordered” to work out the soreness caused by the shots.

Bobby dealt with it by banging away on the “eighty-eight” – the massive monstrosity called an “upright piano”. But he couldn’t carry his medical device with him wherever he went like Freddy could; and so “The Big Ugly” worked out the soreness rather quickly.

See, I told you the yo-yo was a medical device. If I had been in charge of the advertising then – or now – I would have included that little tidbit in my copy – and made a killing in the “Yo-Yo Market”.

I needed a yo-yo the other day when I took the COVID-19 (or is it 21 now?) vaccine; but there wasn’t a yo-yo to be found anywhere in the house.

Sometimes, people find new uses for old things. Like the old dusty Bible over there on the shelf. You might find It has a lot of answers if you pick it up and read it!

Maybe even answers to questions you didn’t even know you had!

Like, “Where will you spend eternity?” and that sort of stuff.

Why not give it a shot? You might be surprised at what It says!

Tom Mooty has served Newport’s West End Baptist Church as its Supply Pastor and Interim Pastor and Guest Pastor and Pastor and Senior Pastor and very, very, very Senior Pastor for a total of thirty three cumulative years; and normally writes this column for The Newport Plain Talk’s Wednesday and Weekend Editions. Mooty sincerely appreciates your comments which have been sent to tommooty15@gmail.com or P.O. Box 851, Newport, 37822.

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